Wushu's officially starting next week, 12 days countdown to my event. OMG seriously wushu's completely taken over my life. I feel so lifeless, yet I'm enjoying it so much. Wish I had this feeling during secondary school, then I wouldn't be panicking that much. You know, the more I train, the more effort I put in, somehow the sport becomes so much more enjoyable to me. I've learnt to appreciate wushu as a sport, and I think I'll miss it a bit after I graduate.

I've always thought I was pretty much an injury-free person. Training hard has completely proven me wrong. 5 years of wushu and maybe a year of volleyball, the worse I've gotten was a sprain which recovered after an hour or so. Minus the time I grazed both my knees (and bounced several times) during volleyball training playing captain's ball. These few weeks, completely proven me wrong. My shoulder has a (slight) perpetual bruise from all the tumbling, flipping and jumping, and was it just Monday that I broke my blood vessel? HAHA okay it isn't as serious as it sounds, but then the blood vessel on my palm exploded with a 拍地, got an immediate blue-black and then turned swollen red. Recovered from that a day later. Today, (which is holy crap the following training after Monday) I landed on my forefoot after a 外摆腿 and crashed it. Think it's just a bad sprain on the ligament, but I hope it doesn't worsen, it hurts a little with every step I take though. :(

The wushu team's almost completely worn out. Guys, at least. Shijie injured both his arms, his back, and is unable to train, Yiyang's always had knee problems, the juniors and Sean have at least slight knee/ankle issues. I think I'm the best off amongst them already. I don't think I need a doc, just a sprain right? I hope?

Happy stuff first, Phoenix Cheerleaders '09 '10 had combined dinner together at Kenny Rogers on Sunday, seniors won juniors 11 is to 5 turnout. Shows how much more bonded we are right HEH. Nice knowing them though, the junior batch. Watching their VOG video seriously reminds me of what we were last year. Oh by the way Yuting & Liqin, for the first time I ate KR, it isn't really that good HAHA! Didn't manage to go for Sylvia's ah-lian birthday celebration on Saturday night cause of family dinner, she wanted to go le-pah below a void deck but they changed it to dinner at Chomp Chomp instead. Anyway you might be reading this, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYLVIA thanks for being an awesome fresh(wo)man, luckily you toned down on your lame jokes already! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIEWENG! Though we celebrated your birthday so long ago!

Trainings these few days are tougher and tougher. Think my shirt was record-wet today after training, I was drenched to even my pants. First time sweat so much okay, I hardly even sweat training volleyball! Individual event in exactly 2 weeks, group event 4 days after that. I recently threw away all forms of machismo I've been trying to maintain - I'm complaining a lot. Not really complaining, just telling them about training and shit. So yeah, since you're here reading I might as well tell you right?

Last year of wushu "career", first year I've ever trained so hard. DHS training was like... extremely slack. Seriously, same sport, same routines, same coach, but yet so different. I hardly even treated wushu as a sport, more like a - if you're lucky you win, unlucky you lose - thing. After coming to VJ, facing pressure, facing competition, a different environment, I completely regretted my first 4 years. There's so much to learn and improve, I just sat there and wasted all those opportunities. But as I take training more seriously, do so much more preparation before the competitions, I get more stressed, put more pressure on myself. This time, a screw-up would mean so much more. Never experienced stress before my routine performance, this is going to be a first-time for me and it's fucking scary. 放轻松，慢慢来 I keep telling myself. I need to do a simulation, really please. And then there's the group event. In a team of 6, amongst DSAs and sports appeal teammates, Junior World champs and more. I'm definitely the lousiest. I'm completely sure I'm pulling the team down, stamina, stunts and everything. That's a fact, no point consoling me and retorting that yeah. I'll just have to train hard. Seriously going to get pissed off at myself if I screw up stunts for them, cause they definitely deserve the gold nugget. Pray for me, please.

You know those Facebook groups "Sorry I can't, I have choir"? Mine's now going to be "Sorry I can't, I am studying". Just kidding, I'm not completely in the mood yet. But yeah one thing for sure I'm going Facebook less often. Yesterday, I came home from training after dinner and I didn't even turn on the computer. Must be my personal record. But yeah, these days just aren't those blogging days, think I'm going to make use of this opportunity to semi-quit. I found out that being active on Facebook and the urge to go back on Facebook has a direct relationship. So yeah, going less = less updates/notifications = less urge to use Facebook.

So I'm going to be off for a bit, maybe popping at Facebook/Youtube, but blogging... I don't think so. My consistent readers, you guys should take a break, rest your eyes and perhaps go off and study like me as well. Cheers.

VJ gave us a half day on our sports day the last friday before March holidays. It was just announced today that our "Victorian Olympic Games" is postponed to tomorrow after school from 3pm to 6.30pm. Attendance is compulsory. Tomorrow, is also Ben & Jerry's free-cone day, which coincidentally ends at 7pm, which means getting a free cone is an impossibility. My virgin free-cone experience arranged to be in 2010, ruthlessly seized away. And the Dunmanians were complaining about a half day instead of a full day. Sad face much.

Don't you just feel guilty whenever you cheat? I wanted to do e-assessment proper this holidays, but things dragged, so I didn't manage. I read 2 or 3 questions in there and I didn't understand anything anyway. Cannot imagine how I'm going to be taking the A levels half a year later. Can I possibly improve that much? Oh yeah, and it seems I took too long CTRL+F-ing the document, or I spent too much time browsing Facebook in between the chemistry e-assessment, I ended up missing the deadline for Physics' e-assessment. The link probably expired after 00:00, I can't find it anymore :(

I went out to get a new phone just now, and I didn't manage to. BTW my phone was in extremely severe state just now, buttons spoilt were: down button, 2, 3, 6 and 9. I couldn't even manage a reply "yes". Ate up all my most important vowels, SMS-ing was impossible. I got the LG New-Chocolate, quite a hasty decision, cause my mum was quick pissed off with the long wait, and I heard reviews that the touch-pad was over sensitive. Decided on it over the SE W995, cause LG always look prettier. I just hope I don't regret my decision.

Sieweng's early birthday celebration on Friday. Okay so it just officially replaced my prior best-home-cooked-dinner at Phoenix's celebratory dinner 2009, in Eduardo's house. Swear the girls spent a hell lot of effort preparing everything and such. I arrived late after wushu training, so yeah I got there, took a bath and I had the food in front of me. Which made me really guilty. I mean, look at the menu alone. They made it a special high-class western dining experience cause Sieweng asked for a home-cooked meal that time. Everything was almost perfect, the food, ambience, music and all. The food was like OMG DAMN SHIOK, restaurant standard lah, really. I'm still really puzzled how they could find all the good looking equipments and cutlery in Jieting's house.




It's Sunday already. I woke up today at 3pm (after 15 hours of sleep) and I felt like a loser. My entire March holiday's drained off, just like that. I've merely completed a vector2 tutorial through the whole holiday. Had training everyday except Wednesday, so I guess that's consolation but I've really just understood how important time is and how much time I'll need to prepare myself before the A'levels. I need to get into full-time studying soon.

Yeah, and uhm went to EXPO for the 1st National Cheerleading competition yesterday after training. It was an eye-opener. Those cheerleading routines were awesome to watch. The Japanese all-girls exhibition team not only displayed strength and great teamwork with the almost-perfect routine, but on those 2 times they had minor hiccups, I could see the determination in trying to get back up into position - supporting yourself on the heads of the other cheerleaders, tugging others back up. I missed Perle & Puayying's routine caused we were rushing but yet we incidentally saw Miss Cai on the exchange train towards EXPO, and we ended up having lunch with her even though we didn't really want to eat. :(

I saw this from Tzuhsiang's tumblr. Since I (annoyingly) don't have a tumblr, I'm going to "reblog" it, in a more burdensome manner, in Blogger. I couldn't agree more with Tzuhsiang though, totally worth the blockquote and other hassles.

Thailand Spills Blood, from speciallyi.tumblr

Protesters in Thailand poured their own blood at the gates of government headquarters Tuesday, a vivid symbol of their commitment to fight on for new elections four years after the military deposed a popular prime minister who championed the country’s poor. (from NPR.ORG)

“The blood of the common people is mixing together to fight for democracy,” Nattawut Saikua, one of the protest leaders, told cheering supporters. “When Abhisit works in his office, he will be reminded that he is sitting on the people’s blood.”(from bostonherald.com)

I honestly have to say that I thought this was all quite creative. Why? Because it’s a marked change from all the riots and protests that is associated with violence. This is both symbolic, ironic, non violent, yet sends its message across.

People deride this entire thing. Just read online comments and can’t help but feel pissed off. ”Waste of time and energy!” “Lame”. I do understand that these comments only come after the people know that the roads were immediately disinfected and washed. Sure, the Red Cross guy was right to say that this is all very unhygienic and the blood could be put into better use. But you can’t write this off just as “lame”.

You have got to understand. When you live in a country which is so often plagued with military coups, protests and riots, the last thing on your mind would be hygiene. When you’re struggling with life, and you exercise your voting rights only to find the elections rigged or encounter more violence on the streets- frustration and helplessness totally sets in. Can you even blame these people wanting to do something like that? They made a stand. They made themselves heard. They fight for what they want. I think that’s commendable. Couch internet surfers in their lovely homes behind the computer and plush chairs honestly have to put more thoughts into their comments. Who the hell are YOU to judge? So what if it’s not very pragmatic? But look at limited options they have. Violence, been there done that. Non-violent rallies etc. Same. Time for a different approach. And this? It puts them into international limelight and ultimately bonds the people involved. Better than true blue bloodshed in protests in the streets right? And better than doing nothing at all. You criticize because it’s not pragmatic. I appreciate because at least there’s an effort.Because they don’t give up.

Reading about riots and all that in history notes do make a difference. You think a government is easy to form? You think a peaceful society is a given. Please think again. All these conflicts and tension in our world is so real, so real. Maybe geographically far away but its existence is undeniable. Wake up your idea. So many people are still fighting for their countries. Look at Myanmar.

Basically, just don’t take things for granted. And more, don’t even try scoffing at others just cos you have it better.

On this note, have you ever heard about the Flower Children, Flower Power in the Vietnam War? A one-line summary: Flower Power's an expression used against the Vietnam War in the 1960s, symbolised by Flower Children wearing and distributing flowers in conflicts and war, demonstrating peace, love and brotherhood. I'm linking a lot of those keywords to other sites here cause I don't want to flood this post with blockquotes and such, so yeah if you're even interested you could go to click on them and explore yourself. I usually hate reading about war and conflicts - I skip everything about them in magazines or news sites (not like I read very often anyway) but yeah I'm completely uninformed about any updates in Iran - in contrast these actions of peaceful protests are exceptionally alluring to me.




Classic pictures, you might have seen them before. Such strong idealism and meaning, a picture paints a thousand words much? My brother once told me he wouldn't mind dying if he could be a Flower Child in the 1960s. And then there's the Summer of Love. Quote Wikipedia, it was "the center of the hippie revolution, a melting pot of music, psychoactive drugs, sexual freedom, creative expression, and politics. The Summer of Love became a defining moment of the 1960s, as the hippie counterculture movement came into public awareness. This unprecedented gathering of young people is often considered to have been a social experiment, because of alternative lifestyles that became common, both during the summer itself and during subsequent years. These lifestyles included communal living; the free and communal sharing of resources, often among strangers; and free love." Fecking interesting huh, and deep in my mind I recalled this fashion spread I've seen a while ago, definitely inspired by Summer of Love. I swear. I saved the images but I've forgotten its source.



And then there's LSD, this now-illegal drug. Everything's illegal over here in Singapore, but once in the US/UK it was legal. Quoting Wikipedia, "Some psychological effects may include an experience of radiant colors, objects and surfaces appearing to ripple or "breathe," colored patterns behind the eyes, a sense of time distorting (time seems to be stretching, repeating itself, changing speed or stopping), crawling geometric patterns overlaying walls and other objects, morphing objects, a sense that one's thoughts are spiraling into themselves, loss of a sense of identity or the ego (known as "ego death"), and other powerful psycho-physical reactions. Many users experience a dissolution between themselves and the "outside world". This unitive quality may play a role in the spiritual and religious aspects of LSD. The drug sometimes leads to disintegration or restructuring of the user's historical personality and creates a mental state that some users report allows them to have more choice regarding the nature of their own personality... LSD causes expansion and an altered experience of senses, emotions, memories, time, and awareness for 6 to 14 hours, depending on dosage and tolerance. Generally beginning within thirty to ninety minutes after ingestion, the user may experience anything from subtle changes in perception to overwhelming cognitive shifts. Changes in auditory and visual perception are typical. Visual effects include the illusion of movement of static surfaces ("walls breathing"), after image-like trails of moving objects ("tracers"), the appearance of moving colored geometric patterns (especially with closed eyes), an intensification of colors and brightness ("sparkling"), new textures on objects, blurred vision, and shape suggestibility" unquote. Again, my brother told me about it a few months ago. If it was legal I'd love to try it. All for first experiences huh. I can't believe I actually spent time editing a quote into George Harrison's image. But yeah, it proves my point of how awesome LSD is. Or seems, at least.



Oh yeah in the end I spent half an hour studying, and the rest of the time in my completely free day, completely free day I emphasize, surfing the net. But then, could we ever stop marveling over the wonders of the Internet? I have never valued information sharing this much. Oh yeah, and I spent the rest of the time analyzing Lady Gaga's most recent Telephone music video. The director says people are reading too much into a music video, but some of them were intended. Lots of pop-culture references in there though, viewed online a record 15 million times in less than five days, hailed as one of the greatest music videos of all time okay. Worth that 10 minutes of watch and an hour of analyzing.

Oh gawd bird got me reflecting again. Okay, not exactly reflecting, just sharing with you a piece of my wisdom into the study of humanity and behaviour. After I saw the bird stuck, I ran up to get the DSLR and there I sat for an hour taking photos of the bird. And getting freaked out. I reiterate, my phobia's for most (living)things with short fur, extremely agile, small, or any combination of the above. So yeah, those wing-flaps which go so much faster than my camera shutter, I'm tremendously frightened of them. My shots got closer and closer, as I saw the bird for longer and longer periods of time. Think it might actually work for cats, cause I'm seeing cats on my desktop everyday. I usually hide it with Firefox though.

Yeah, so for that one hour, that poor bird struggled to get past that invisible wall, back into a safe home, back into nature. It kept trying, continuously flapping its wings and pecking into the window, hoping that miraculously the wall would be torn down. So near yet so far, its home right in front of it, but yet impossibly far from its reach. After the hour of flapping to and fro, up and down, it turned around, stepped back into the darkness, the danger of a human's residence, but only to see the real exit, back into nature. More often than we realise, we behave like that bird. What that little bird does - fighting for its freedom, never giving up - schools teach us as the epitome of behaviour and human characteristics; determination and perseverance. But yet an hour passed and the little bird is still digging at the same old spot, not moving any further. It takes creativity and courage, sometimes to dispose of traditional methods, follow your guts and take alternatives from what is "safe", to finally get what you so desperately wanted.


Okay cheesy moral-of-the-story. Anyway, I should really get to work soon. I bought myself time when I told Mr Teo I wouldn't be going for volleyball camp. Studies over enjoyment, studies over enjoyment. But I'm guilty as charged for not using that extra time wisely.

In case you still don't know, I broke my previous pair of spectacles on the first day of the CT1s. Don't worry, I wasn't that stressed, it's just that Ivan (with a bigger head than my already rather big head) tried on my spectacles, and in an attempt to bend its sides back to normal I broke it by accident. You should have recorded that moment down on film. I was cursing non-stop in a really exaggerated fashion, it would have been a pretty decent epic moment.

Anyway I got a new pair. Quite pleased about it, but I just realised its front view looks a bit... broken. The two lenses tilts inwards a bit. Anyway I've also got a new haircut. The haircut sucked, but I'm not going to complain about it. Miraculously my phone is so much better and now even though I'm still having a problem with the "down" button, everything else seem to work fine. Through the weekends there was this serious problem with the screen. It did the "TV no reception" or the better known "Sadako coming out of TV" screen thingum several times, and twice the screen flipped horizontally. That was pretty cool - I should have taken a photo. Like I'd have to use a mirror to read messages but because I've great visualizing skills I didn't need it.

Skins S04E05, Effy Stonem

Faces, behind the skin, between this world and the next. Their teeth and their claws coming out, trying to break through. I thought of something. A tab with your face on it. Here, in the hole that fits mine. From the moment I saw you I knew you’d be the closest I got to being… close. I didn’t know what to do with that feeling… happiness. But they know now, and they’re hungry, really fucking hungry, because for as long as I know they’ve been chasing me. And now they’re ready, now they’re strong enough to break through and I can’t fight them. I used to be able when I was strong but… you’ve made me weak. And now I can’t. I can’t.

March holidays will be pretty busy. It's going to be Monday already, I've training almost everyday this March holiday. I'm still trying to catch up with sleep ever since Phoenix 09 stayed up with Phoenix Cheer 10 on Thursday to help. And then there was overnight at Daniel's, to celebrate his birthday. Phoenix Cheer 10 did well. Downstage watching them just reminds me of what all of us went through last year, those 3 hours of sleep, lots of bananas and Red-bulls, and low expectations of "just don't be last okay" and we won. I felt a little like a bastard cause every time we're encouraging them I accidentally let a "must win okay" slip through my mouth before realising that was annoying to say. But the juniors did well and we're all real proud of them. Results doesn't matter, as long as you've had fun.

Just told Mr Teo I won't be able to go for volleyball camp. I'm quite sad about it but sometimes I just gotta prioritise and control. Balance fun and studying. I really got to get a hang of that after April (seasons).



C6 subOG outing today, spent $20+ which was ouch. We haven't went out for long though. Had this silly misunderstanding and I picked this package (I went late) which costed $6.90 plus $3.50 for extension, but in the end turns out extension meant $3.50 per hour extra. Thankfully the people at Mindscafe were kind enough to agree for me to change my choice of package to SuperSunday @ $16.90. And we totally forgot to take a group photo with the DSLR, everything else was kind of blurry cause of the low-light there. I haven't brought the DSLR out for long huh. Training tomorrow, better sleep early. Gawd it's 1.44 already? OHOH anyway I'm really in love with this particular song, 崇拜 by 刘力杨 from Down With Love's soundtrack. I can't stop looping it! It's up there, first track on the player. OMG it can't display Chinese words?!



So I found out it wasn't about me all this while, just this 13th. Still any chance?

That was fake elation. How can you feel anything when you've not even worked enough for it. Oh yeah and I realised why JC chemistry's so mega-difficult. I went out to Chinatown today after school (so I guess that few hours made chemistry the subject I spent the most time on) and then I realised that I've 90% of tutorials undone, unread and un-understood. Took all 3 hours doing 10 questions of IE, but it made me feel like shit. I was basically copying out the answer sheet I had in my hand. Chemistry, is so awfully un-fun.

P.S. Don't worry, this is within my half-hour of computer usage. Last 5 minutes. I've studied quite a bit today so yeah I guess I get some time to relax right.

I need some huge wake-up call for myself to stop playing afool. I spent an hour and a half designing this today cause I was about to start on math at 3pm but I was desperately tired. Funny how I don't feel tired when I'm designing but yet so tremendously sleepy once I sit down in front of math. I know, that desktop isn't enough. I seriously dislike myself so being so extremely weak-willed. All types of stupid antics and nothing seems to work, nothing gets me motivated. Nothing at all.

If you want this you could get it from me (so we can study hard together!). I'll remove the part of the cats since cats aren't effective scares for most of you, and if you're using Windows that part would be a bit misplaced. Screwed up physics today, but it was considered okay since the total amount of time I spent studying physics for CT1s was about 3 hours. I think part of me secretly want to screw things up for myself so I'll receive a wake-up call from that and study harder. My dad's been quite a prick these few days, every time he sees me on the computer he tells me I resemble my brother's attitude exactly one year ago. Not working well though, his plan to scare me. Okay now I'll fuck off and study.

Awesmacking CT1s tomorrow! Went to Chinatown to study today. I started revisiting that favourite studying spot last Sunday. I think I'm going to make it a routine, helps me concentrate plus awesome environment. And I should really really study anyway. Yes, even after CT1s. I really hope. Everytime I try to set some rules down I fail. Maybe I should tattoo it... on the back of my hand. So every-next-time I use the computer I'll have the words staring right at me.

So anyway way, I did a good 4(plus) hours of studying, till 8pm. The working at the cafe recognizes me already anyway, he gives me a discount when he's in a good mood sometimes. But he always assumes that I'm going to have a "mocha spin". He's spot on though. Today I didn't want to buy anything cause... well, I'm pretty much impoverished by all the inflation around Singapore. Can you believe it last week I spent close to $60 on food alone. Shit man don't even know how I did it. I've a recollection of buying bubble tea almost everyday, but that's just $10 max. Oh yeah, so he indirectly forced me to buy a cup of coffee today cause he shouted across the cafe when I entered "MOCHA SPIN?". Don't know if that was on purpose or not. But actually the $6.30 is worth it cause the 4 hours was rather solid.

Oh then cause the last time I brought Daniel there he told me it was really close to Raffles Place - much more than Chinatown, so today I decided to try and find where the hall is Raffles Place MRT. I don't think I've ever exited Raffles Place MRT, so it was kind of confusing for me. So yeah anyway I explored Chinatown, I think that part of Singapore's real lovely. So many skyscrapers, neon lights, finance banks and work buildings but yet so surprisingly serene and quiet at night. [Well, I know it's a Sunday but can you give me some poetic expression please!] I think I located the MRT station 10 minutes into my exploration, but then there was this construction, so the crossroad traffic lights screw up and it became a (three-sides of a) one-way square. I took the wrong path and continued walking cause I assumed there would be this other traffic light somewhere in front, but I was wrong. I walked further and further away, while the MRT underpass link disappeared from my sight. A covered walkway all the way straight and I ended up going through this super indie couple's lair in front of Marina Bay. I'm not exactly sure if it's Marina Bay cause the site completely looks under-construction, but there's that huge pool of sea in front and Esplanade's in sight, so I guess it's about that area. Maximum awesomeness I tell you, I wanna go there with my friends now!

I took that wrong turn, saw Esplanade and decided to walk towards City Hall MRT instead. The full walk took about 35 minutes, but every second lost was worth it. I don't even care if there's econs CT1s tomorrow. The Fullerton Hotel was glowing in full glory right at that spot, and so was the Old Parliament House. I realised I've never ever stopped to take a look and examine the architecture of those two buildings, and I've never ever appreciated nature and all the sights in Singapore. This paragraph is straying off from my initial chronological order, but I'm just having so many thoughts in my head right now I can't sort them out too well. The Old Parliament House is a beauty, but right now there's this huge modern countdown timer to the Singapore Youth Olympics sitting on its doorstep, completely screwing up its grandeur. Someone should knock that down. Soon. Backtracking a bit, I was relieved seeing Esplanade and Fullerton Hotel cause I almost thought I was lost in the city. Walking along a park beside the Singapore River, absorbing every aspect of the night's quiet and tranquility, albeit in the city. It was truly enjoyable. Right at that moment I just wished my eyes were cameras, to be able to capture every magnificent sight I witnessed. Anyway, 200m away from City Hall MRT, I stepped into the Padang and magically 周杰伦's 稻香 starting play on my iPod. I saw groups of friends huddled together, couples sitting in front of this mini-bonfire, people just sitting and enjoying the night, others star-gazing. Those spoilt rich-kids in Raffles City just a 100m away are missing out on SO MUCH. I need to find a fellow nature-lover to enjoy all of nature with me. ANYBODY OUT THERE?

I didn't use to like nature so much. I think Skins seriously heavily influenced me on a lot about life. Maybe that's the real reason why I like it so much. Uh-oh I'm supposed to be studying right?

Twentysomething, Jamie Cullum

After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go traveling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
I could work for the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat
Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack
Who knows the answers, who do you trust
I can't even separate love from lust
Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans
Working nine to five, answering phones
But don't make me live for my Friday nights
Drinking eight pints and getting in fights
Don't wanna get up, just have a lie in
Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething
Maybe I'll just fall in love
That could solve it all
Philosophers say that that's enough
There surely must be more
Love ain't the answer, nor is work
The truth eludes me so much it hurts
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

I'm a twentysomething, let me lie in
Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething

The lyrics speaks some things. Today's A level results day, I'm didn't get back disappointing results - I'm only a J2, but I went home kind of morose. Today's just a pretty gloomy day. Half way through chemistry I started to get depressed and all cause I just noticed how prepared everyone else is, and how I'm not. I unusually spent like 7 dollars altogether on food, 5 dollars of which to try and cheer myself up. Happy food, I call them. I don't usually spend that much, since my finances are currently in a depression (in both sense of the word)- as defined economically. I've been having deficit pocket money since early last year, and it's not improving. I just have days like these when I overspend on purpose.

My brother got a BBBB C, which is extremely bad. He's probably basing as the bottom 5% in Hwachong. Don't know why but it's affecting me quite a lot. I'm a bit worried about what he's going to do about it, maybe even more than himself. But I think majority of the gloominess came from the fact that seeing his results discourages me. I know the normal person would be encouraged to study so you don't follow in his footsteps, but somehow the reverse just happens. Adding on to the fact that I'm lagging behind. I know, I'm not complaining about lagging behind. I'm a bit "oh, fuck it" already. I guess if someone else only started on math yesterday, and haven't proceeded to econs and physics, and only completed a chapter of notes for chemistry when it's 3 days to CTs, he'll be feeling screwed. I'm not complaining. I'm just disappointed at how undisciplined and how little motivation I have. If I'm going to get 4Bs next year this time, I'll be laughing at myself and reprimanding myself for being such a idiot in JC. An episode of Skins, dinner with my brother and mum, and I'll come home to study. I guess the reason why I like Skins so much is because everyone inside screws up at different times, and looking at their lives and how much they screwed up just makes me think that I'm doing so much better. Coward.

Creative huh. I mean it's such a cliche but it's still real good if you could reinvent a cliche and make it work well. One of the more creative bands around, more in music video artistic directions than their music though. Should go see their WTF music video too. I saw that technique used by RIP SLYME, Japanese pop/rock band a few years ago, but yeah again this time they did it with much more creativity.

Studying was efficient on Sunday. First day I officially started on the CTs, one of the only days I could do so much. Notes for 2 chemistry chapters. Doesn't sound much, but I guess at least I spent a lot of time doing work - and it feels good. Don't know what's my obsession for doing my own notes. I've always done them, since secondary school. Extremely time consuming, but all in all I think it's pretty useful. I tend to summarise a bit too much and accidentally leave out details for chemistry though. Maybe notes give me a sense of security (real of false I don't care) but I'd rather spend time making notes and not doing practices, even if it means I'll have to be stuck with bad grades. CTs will be a mad rush, a full day of Sunday = 2 chapters of notes. Definitely not enough. Practices aside, before the CTs next week I doubt I'll even have time to complete my notes!

Joined volleyball for PT today, I fell and bounced off the ground at the outdoor courts on my knees. 3 patches on my left knee, 1 on my right. The wounds kill me when they get wet, and that's great. I hope it's just some superficial wounds. Don't want this to affect my training progress. Exactly one month to seasons.

Wushu's officially starting next week, 12 days countdown to my event. OMG seriously wushu's completely taken over my life. I feel so lifeless, yet I'm enjoying it so much. Wish I had this feeling during secondary school, then I wouldn't be panicking that much. You know, the more I train, the more effort I put in, somehow the sport becomes so much more enjoyable to me. I've learnt to appreciate wushu as a sport, and I think I'll miss it a bit after I graduate.

I've always thought I was pretty much an injury-free person. Training hard has completely proven me wrong. 5 years of wushu and maybe a year of volleyball, the worse I've gotten was a sprain which recovered after an hour or so. Minus the time I grazed both my knees (and bounced several times) during volleyball training playing captain's ball. These few weeks, completely proven me wrong. My shoulder has a (slight) perpetual bruise from all the tumbling, flipping and jumping, and was it just Monday that I broke my blood vessel? HAHA okay it isn't as serious as it sounds, but then the blood vessel on my palm exploded with a 拍地, got an immediate blue-black and then turned swollen red. Recovered from that a day later. Today, (which is holy crap the following training after Monday) I landed on my forefoot after a 外摆腿 and crashed it. Think it's just a bad sprain on the ligament, but I hope it doesn't worsen, it hurts a little with every step I take though. :(

The wushu team's almost completely worn out. Guys, at least. Shijie injured both his arms, his back, and is unable to train, Yiyang's always had knee problems, the juniors and Sean have at least slight knee/ankle issues. I think I'm the best off amongst them already. I don't think I need a doc, just a sprain right? I hope?

Happy stuff first, Phoenix Cheerleaders '09 '10 had combined dinner together at Kenny Rogers on Sunday, seniors won juniors 11 is to 5 turnout. Shows how much more bonded we are right HEH. Nice knowing them though, the junior batch. Watching their VOG video seriously reminds me of what we were last year. Oh by the way Yuting & Liqin, for the first time I ate KR, it isn't really that good HAHA! Didn't manage to go for Sylvia's ah-lian birthday celebration on Saturday night cause of family dinner, she wanted to go le-pah below a void deck but they changed it to dinner at Chomp Chomp instead. Anyway you might be reading this, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYLVIA thanks for being an awesome fresh(wo)man, luckily you toned down on your lame jokes already! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIEWENG! Though we celebrated your birthday so long ago!

Trainings these few days are tougher and tougher. Think my shirt was record-wet today after training, I was drenched to even my pants. First time sweat so much okay, I hardly even sweat training volleyball! Individual event in exactly 2 weeks, group event 4 days after that. I recently threw away all forms of machismo I've been trying to maintain - I'm complaining a lot. Not really complaining, just telling them about training and shit. So yeah, since you're here reading I might as well tell you right?

Last year of wushu "career", first year I've ever trained so hard. DHS training was like... extremely slack. Seriously, same sport, same routines, same coach, but yet so different. I hardly even treated wushu as a sport, more like a - if you're lucky you win, unlucky you lose - thing. After coming to VJ, facing pressure, facing competition, a different environment, I completely regretted my first 4 years. There's so much to learn and improve, I just sat there and wasted all those opportunities. But as I take training more seriously, do so much more preparation before the competitions, I get more stressed, put more pressure on myself. This time, a screw-up would mean so much more. Never experienced stress before my routine performance, this is going to be a first-time for me and it's fucking scary. 放轻松，慢慢来 I keep telling myself. I need to do a simulation, really please. And then there's the group event. In a team of 6, amongst DSAs and sports appeal teammates, Junior World champs and more. I'm definitely the lousiest. I'm completely sure I'm pulling the team down, stamina, stunts and everything. That's a fact, no point consoling me and retorting that yeah. I'll just have to train hard. Seriously going to get pissed off at myself if I screw up stunts for them, cause they definitely deserve the gold nugget. Pray for me, please.

You know those Facebook groups "Sorry I can't, I have choir"? Mine's now going to be "Sorry I can't, I am studying". Just kidding, I'm not completely in the mood yet. But yeah one thing for sure I'm going Facebook less often. Yesterday, I came home from training after dinner and I didn't even turn on the computer. Must be my personal record. But yeah, these days just aren't those blogging days, think I'm going to make use of this opportunity to semi-quit. I found out that being active on Facebook and the urge to go back on Facebook has a direct relationship. So yeah, going less = less updates/notifications = less urge to use Facebook.

So I'm going to be off for a bit, maybe popping at Facebook/Youtube, but blogging... I don't think so. My consistent readers, you guys should take a break, rest your eyes and perhaps go off and study like me as well. Cheers.

VJ gave us a half day on our sports day the last friday before March holidays. It was just announced today that our "Victorian Olympic Games" is postponed to tomorrow after school from 3pm to 6.30pm. Attendance is compulsory. Tomorrow, is also Ben & Jerry's free-cone day, which coincidentally ends at 7pm, which means getting a free cone is an impossibility. My virgin free-cone experience arranged to be in 2010, ruthlessly seized away. And the Dunmanians were complaining about a half day instead of a full day. Sad face much.

Don't you just feel guilty whenever you cheat? I wanted to do e-assessment proper this holidays, but things dragged, so I didn't manage. I read 2 or 3 questions in there and I didn't understand anything anyway. Cannot imagine how I'm going to be taking the A levels half a year later. Can I possibly improve that much? Oh yeah, and it seems I took too long CTRL+F-ing the document, or I spent too much time browsing Facebook in between the chemistry e-assessment, I ended up missing the deadline for Physics' e-assessment. The link probably expired after 00:00, I can't find it anymore :(

I went out to get a new phone just now, and I didn't manage to. BTW my phone was in extremely severe state just now, buttons spoilt were: down button, 2, 3, 6 and 9. I couldn't even manage a reply "yes". Ate up all my most important vowels, SMS-ing was impossible. I got the LG New-Chocolate, quite a hasty decision, cause my mum was quick pissed off with the long wait, and I heard reviews that the touch-pad was over sensitive. Decided on it over the SE W995, cause LG always look prettier. I just hope I don't regret my decision.

Sieweng's early birthday celebration on Friday. Okay so it just officially replaced my prior best-home-cooked-dinner at Phoenix's celebratory dinner 2009, in Eduardo's house. Swear the girls spent a hell lot of effort preparing everything and such. I arrived late after wushu training, so yeah I got there, took a bath and I had the food in front of me. Which made me really guilty. I mean, look at the menu alone. They made it a special high-class western dining experience cause Sieweng asked for a home-cooked meal that time. Everything was almost perfect, the food, ambience, music and all. The food was like OMG DAMN SHIOK, restaurant standard lah, really. I'm still really puzzled how they could find all the good looking equipments and cutlery in Jieting's house.




It's Sunday already. I woke up today at 3pm (after 15 hours of sleep) and I felt like a loser. My entire March holiday's drained off, just like that. I've merely completed a vector2 tutorial through the whole holiday. Had training everyday except Wednesday, so I guess that's consolation but I've really just understood how important time is and how much time I'll need to prepare myself before the A'levels. I need to get into full-time studying soon.

Yeah, and uhm went to EXPO for the 1st National Cheerleading competition yesterday after training. It was an eye-opener. Those cheerleading routines were awesome to watch. The Japanese all-girls exhibition team not only displayed strength and great teamwork with the almost-perfect routine, but on those 2 times they had minor hiccups, I could see the determination in trying to get back up into position - supporting yourself on the heads of the other cheerleaders, tugging others back up. I missed Perle & Puayying's routine caused we were rushing but yet we incidentally saw Miss Cai on the exchange train towards EXPO, and we ended up having lunch with her even though we didn't really want to eat. :(

I saw this from Tzuhsiang's tumblr. Since I (annoyingly) don't have a tumblr, I'm going to "reblog" it, in a more burdensome manner, in Blogger. I couldn't agree more with Tzuhsiang though, totally worth the blockquote and other hassles.

Thailand Spills Blood, from speciallyi.tumblr

Protesters in Thailand poured their own blood at the gates of government headquarters Tuesday, a vivid symbol of their commitment to fight on for new elections four years after the military deposed a popular prime minister who championed the country’s poor. (from NPR.ORG)

“The blood of the common people is mixing together to fight for democracy,” Nattawut Saikua, one of the protest leaders, told cheering supporters. “When Abhisit works in his office, he will be reminded that he is sitting on the people’s blood.”(from bostonherald.com)

I honestly have to say that I thought this was all quite creative. Why? Because it’s a marked change from all the riots and protests that is associated with violence. This is both symbolic, ironic, non violent, yet sends its message across.

People deride this entire thing. Just read online comments and can’t help but feel pissed off. ”Waste of time and energy!” “Lame”. I do understand that these comments only come after the people know that the roads were immediately disinfected and washed. Sure, the Red Cross guy was right to say that this is all very unhygienic and the blood could be put into better use. But you can’t write this off just as “lame”.

You have got to understand. When you live in a country which is so often plagued with military coups, protests and riots, the last thing on your mind would be hygiene. When you’re struggling with life, and you exercise your voting rights only to find the elections rigged or encounter more violence on the streets- frustration and helplessness totally sets in. Can you even blame these people wanting to do something like that? They made a stand. They made themselves heard. They fight for what they want. I think that’s commendable. Couch internet surfers in their lovely homes behind the computer and plush chairs honestly have to put more thoughts into their comments. Who the hell are YOU to judge? So what if it’s not very pragmatic? But look at limited options they have. Violence, been there done that. Non-violent rallies etc. Same. Time for a different approach. And this? It puts them into international limelight and ultimately bonds the people involved. Better than true blue bloodshed in protests in the streets right? And better than doing nothing at all. You criticize because it’s not pragmatic. I appreciate because at least there’s an effort.Because they don’t give up.

Reading about riots and all that in history notes do make a difference. You think a government is easy to form? You think a peaceful society is a given. Please think again. All these conflicts and tension in our world is so real, so real. Maybe geographically far away but its existence is undeniable. Wake up your idea. So many people are still fighting for their countries. Look at Myanmar.

Basically, just don’t take things for granted. And more, don’t even try scoffing at others just cos you have it better.

On this note, have you ever heard about the Flower Children, Flower Power in the Vietnam War? A one-line summary: Flower Power's an expression used against the Vietnam War in the 1960s, symbolised by Flower Children wearing and distributing flowers in conflicts and war, demonstrating peace, love and brotherhood. I'm linking a lot of those keywords to other sites here cause I don't want to flood this post with blockquotes and such, so yeah if you're even interested you could go to click on them and explore yourself. I usually hate reading about war and conflicts - I skip everything about them in magazines or news sites (not like I read very often anyway) but yeah I'm completely uninformed about any updates in Iran - in contrast these actions of peaceful protests are exceptionally alluring to me.




Classic pictures, you might have seen them before. Such strong idealism and meaning, a picture paints a thousand words much? My brother once told me he wouldn't mind dying if he could be a Flower Child in the 1960s. And then there's the Summer of Love. Quote Wikipedia, it was "the center of the hippie revolution, a melting pot of music, psychoactive drugs, sexual freedom, creative expression, and politics. The Summer of Love became a defining moment of the 1960s, as the hippie counterculture movement came into public awareness. This unprecedented gathering of young people is often considered to have been a social experiment, because of alternative lifestyles that became common, both during the summer itself and during subsequent years. These lifestyles included communal living; the free and communal sharing of resources, often among strangers; and free love." Fecking interesting huh, and deep in my mind I recalled this fashion spread I've seen a while ago, definitely inspired by Summer of Love. I swear. I saved the images but I've forgotten its source.



And then there's LSD, this now-illegal drug. Everything's illegal over here in Singapore, but once in the US/UK it was legal. Quoting Wikipedia, "Some psychological effects may include an experience of radiant colors, objects and surfaces appearing to ripple or "breathe," colored patterns behind the eyes, a sense of time distorting (time seems to be stretching, repeating itself, changing speed or stopping), crawling geometric patterns overlaying walls and other objects, morphing objects, a sense that one's thoughts are spiraling into themselves, loss of a sense of identity or the ego (known as "ego death"), and other powerful psycho-physical reactions. Many users experience a dissolution between themselves and the "outside world". This unitive quality may play a role in the spiritual and religious aspects of LSD. The drug sometimes leads to disintegration or restructuring of the user's historical personality and creates a mental state that some users report allows them to have more choice regarding the nature of their own personality... LSD causes expansion and an altered experience of senses, emotions, memories, time, and awareness for 6 to 14 hours, depending on dosage and tolerance. Generally beginning within thirty to ninety minutes after ingestion, the user may experience anything from subtle changes in perception to overwhelming cognitive shifts. Changes in auditory and visual perception are typical. Visual effects include the illusion of movement of static surfaces ("walls breathing"), after image-like trails of moving objects ("tracers"), the appearance of moving colored geometric patterns (especially with closed eyes), an intensification of colors and brightness ("sparkling"), new textures on objects, blurred vision, and shape suggestibility" unquote. Again, my brother told me about it a few months ago. If it was legal I'd love to try it. All for first experiences huh. I can't believe I actually spent time editing a quote into George Harrison's image. But yeah, it proves my point of how awesome LSD is. Or seems, at least.



Oh yeah in the end I spent half an hour studying, and the rest of the time in my completely free day, completely free day I emphasize, surfing the net. But then, could we ever stop marveling over the wonders of the Internet? I have never valued information sharing this much. Oh yeah, and I spent the rest of the time analyzing Lady Gaga's most recent Telephone music video. The director says people are reading too much into a music video, but some of them were intended. Lots of pop-culture references in there though, viewed online a record 15 million times in less than five days, hailed as one of the greatest music videos of all time okay. Worth that 10 minutes of watch and an hour of analyzing.

Oh gawd bird got me reflecting again. Okay, not exactly reflecting, just sharing with you a piece of my wisdom into the study of humanity and behaviour. After I saw the bird stuck, I ran up to get the DSLR and there I sat for an hour taking photos of the bird. And getting freaked out. I reiterate, my phobia's for most (living)things with short fur, extremely agile, small, or any combination of the above. So yeah, those wing-flaps which go so much faster than my camera shutter, I'm tremendously frightened of them. My shots got closer and closer, as I saw the bird for longer and longer periods of time. Think it might actually work for cats, cause I'm seeing cats on my desktop everyday. I usually hide it with Firefox though.

Yeah, so for that one hour, that poor bird struggled to get past that invisible wall, back into a safe home, back into nature. It kept trying, continuously flapping its wings and pecking into the window, hoping that miraculously the wall would be torn down. So near yet so far, its home right in front of it, but yet impossibly far from its reach. After the hour of flapping to and fro, up and down, it turned around, stepped back into the darkness, the danger of a human's residence, but only to see the real exit, back into nature. More often than we realise, we behave like that bird. What that little bird does - fighting for its freedom, never giving up - schools teach us as the epitome of behaviour and human characteristics; determination and perseverance. But yet an hour passed and the little bird is still digging at the same old spot, not moving any further. It takes creativity and courage, sometimes to dispose of traditional methods, follow your guts and take alternatives from what is "safe", to finally get what you so desperately wanted.


Okay cheesy moral-of-the-story. Anyway, I should really get to work soon. I bought myself time when I told Mr Teo I wouldn't be going for volleyball camp. Studies over enjoyment, studies over enjoyment. But I'm guilty as charged for not using that extra time wisely.

In case you still don't know, I broke my previous pair of spectacles on the first day of the CT1s. Don't worry, I wasn't that stressed, it's just that Ivan (with a bigger head than my already rather big head) tried on my spectacles, and in an attempt to bend its sides back to normal I broke it by accident. You should have recorded that moment down on film. I was cursing non-stop in a really exaggerated fashion, it would have been a pretty decent epic moment.

Anyway I got a new pair. Quite pleased about it, but I just realised its front view looks a bit... broken. The two lenses tilts inwards a bit. Anyway I've also got a new haircut. The haircut sucked, but I'm not going to complain about it. Miraculously my phone is so much better and now even though I'm still having a problem with the "down" button, everything else seem to work fine. Through the weekends there was this serious problem with the screen. It did the "TV no reception" or the better known "Sadako coming out of TV" screen thingum several times, and twice the screen flipped horizontally. That was pretty cool - I should have taken a photo. Like I'd have to use a mirror to read messages but because I've great visualizing skills I didn't need it.

Skins S04E05, Effy Stonem

Faces, behind the skin, between this world and the next. Their teeth and their claws coming out, trying to break through. I thought of something. A tab with your face on it. Here, in the hole that fits mine. From the moment I saw you I knew you’d be the closest I got to being… close. I didn’t know what to do with that feeling… happiness. But they know now, and they’re hungry, really fucking hungry, because for as long as I know they’ve been chasing me. And now they’re ready, now they’re strong enough to break through and I can’t fight them. I used to be able when I was strong but… you’ve made me weak. And now I can’t. I can’t.

March holidays will be pretty busy. It's going to be Monday already, I've training almost everyday this March holiday. I'm still trying to catch up with sleep ever since Phoenix 09 stayed up with Phoenix Cheer 10 on Thursday to help. And then there was overnight at Daniel's, to celebrate his birthday. Phoenix Cheer 10 did well. Downstage watching them just reminds me of what all of us went through last year, those 3 hours of sleep, lots of bananas and Red-bulls, and low expectations of "just don't be last okay" and we won. I felt a little like a bastard cause every time we're encouraging them I accidentally let a "must win okay" slip through my mouth before realising that was annoying to say. But the juniors did well and we're all real proud of them. Results doesn't matter, as long as you've had fun.

Just told Mr Teo I won't be able to go for volleyball camp. I'm quite sad about it but sometimes I just gotta prioritise and control. Balance fun and studying. I really got to get a hang of that after April (seasons).



C6 subOG outing today, spent $20+ which was ouch. We haven't went out for long though. Had this silly misunderstanding and I picked this package (I went late) which costed $6.90 plus $3.50 for extension, but in the end turns out extension meant $3.50 per hour extra. Thankfully the people at Mindscafe were kind enough to agree for me to change my choice of package to SuperSunday @ $16.90. And we totally forgot to take a group photo with the DSLR, everything else was kind of blurry cause of the low-light there. I haven't brought the DSLR out for long huh. Training tomorrow, better sleep early. Gawd it's 1.44 already? OHOH anyway I'm really in love with this particular song, 崇拜 by 刘力杨 from Down With Love's soundtrack. I can't stop looping it! It's up there, first track on the player. OMG it can't display Chinese words?!



So I found out it wasn't about me all this while, just this 13th. Still any chance?

That was fake elation. How can you feel anything when you've not even worked enough for it. Oh yeah and I realised why JC chemistry's so mega-difficult. I went out to Chinatown today after school (so I guess that few hours made chemistry the subject I spent the most time on) and then I realised that I've 90% of tutorials undone, unread and un-understood. Took all 3 hours doing 10 questions of IE, but it made me feel like shit. I was basically copying out the answer sheet I had in my hand. Chemistry, is so awfully un-fun.

P.S. Don't worry, this is within my half-hour of computer usage. Last 5 minutes. I've studied quite a bit today so yeah I guess I get some time to relax right.

I need some huge wake-up call for myself to stop playing afool. I spent an hour and a half designing this today cause I was about to start on math at 3pm but I was desperately tired. Funny how I don't feel tired when I'm designing but yet so tremendously sleepy once I sit down in front of math. I know, that desktop isn't enough. I seriously dislike myself so being so extremely weak-willed. All types of stupid antics and nothing seems to work, nothing gets me motivated. Nothing at all.

If you want this you could get it from me (so we can study hard together!). I'll remove the part of the cats since cats aren't effective scares for most of you, and if you're using Windows that part would be a bit misplaced. Screwed up physics today, but it was considered okay since the total amount of time I spent studying physics for CT1s was about 3 hours. I think part of me secretly want to screw things up for myself so I'll receive a wake-up call from that and study harder. My dad's been quite a prick these few days, every time he sees me on the computer he tells me I resemble my brother's attitude exactly one year ago. Not working well though, his plan to scare me. Okay now I'll fuck off and study.

Awesmacking CT1s tomorrow! Went to Chinatown to study today. I started revisiting that favourite studying spot last Sunday. I think I'm going to make it a routine, helps me concentrate plus awesome environment. And I should really really study anyway. Yes, even after CT1s. I really hope. Everytime I try to set some rules down I fail. Maybe I should tattoo it... on the back of my hand. So every-next-time I use the computer I'll have the words staring right at me.

So anyway way, I did a good 4(plus) hours of studying, till 8pm. The working at the cafe recognizes me already anyway, he gives me a discount when he's in a good mood sometimes. But he always assumes that I'm going to have a "mocha spin". He's spot on though. Today I didn't want to buy anything cause... well, I'm pretty much impoverished by all the inflation around Singapore. Can you believe it last week I spent close to $60 on food alone. Shit man don't even know how I did it. I've a recollection of buying bubble tea almost everyday, but that's just $10 max. Oh yeah, so he indirectly forced me to buy a cup of coffee today cause he shouted across the cafe when I entered "MOCHA SPIN?". Don't know if that was on purpose or not. But actually the $6.30 is worth it cause the 4 hours was rather solid.

Oh then cause the last time I brought Daniel there he told me it was really close to Raffles Place - much more than Chinatown, so today I decided to try and find where the hall is Raffles Place MRT. I don't think I've ever exited Raffles Place MRT, so it was kind of confusing for me. So yeah anyway I explored Chinatown, I think that part of Singapore's real lovely. So many skyscrapers, neon lights, finance banks and work buildings but yet so surprisingly serene and quiet at night. [Well, I know it's a Sunday but can you give me some poetic expression please!] I think I located the MRT station 10 minutes into my exploration, but then there was this construction, so the crossroad traffic lights screw up and it became a (three-sides of a) one-way square. I took the wrong path and continued walking cause I assumed there would be this other traffic light somewhere in front, but I was wrong. I walked further and further away, while the MRT underpass link disappeared from my sight. A covered walkway all the way straight and I ended up going through this super indie couple's lair in front of Marina Bay. I'm not exactly sure if it's Marina Bay cause the site completely looks under-construction, but there's that huge pool of sea in front and Esplanade's in sight, so I guess it's about that area. Maximum awesomeness I tell you, I wanna go there with my friends now!

I took that wrong turn, saw Esplanade and decided to walk towards City Hall MRT instead. The full walk took about 35 minutes, but every second lost was worth it. I don't even care if there's econs CT1s tomorrow. The Fullerton Hotel was glowing in full glory right at that spot, and so was the Old Parliament House. I realised I've never ever stopped to take a look and examine the architecture of those two buildings, and I've never ever appreciated nature and all the sights in Singapore. This paragraph is straying off from my initial chronological order, but I'm just having so many thoughts in my head right now I can't sort them out too well. The Old Parliament House is a beauty, but right now there's this huge modern countdown timer to the Singapore Youth Olympics sitting on its doorstep, completely screwing up its grandeur. Someone should knock that down. Soon. Backtracking a bit, I was relieved seeing Esplanade and Fullerton Hotel cause I almost thought I was lost in the city. Walking along a park beside the Singapore River, absorbing every aspect of the night's quiet and tranquility, albeit in the city. It was truly enjoyable. Right at that moment I just wished my eyes were cameras, to be able to capture every magnificent sight I witnessed. Anyway, 200m away from City Hall MRT, I stepped into the Padang and magically 周杰伦's 稻香 starting play on my iPod. I saw groups of friends huddled together, couples sitting in front of this mini-bonfire, people just sitting and enjoying the night, others star-gazing. Those spoilt rich-kids in Raffles City just a 100m away are missing out on SO MUCH. I need to find a fellow nature-lover to enjoy all of nature with me. ANYBODY OUT THERE?

I didn't use to like nature so much. I think Skins seriously heavily influenced me on a lot about life. Maybe that's the real reason why I like it so much. Uh-oh I'm supposed to be studying right?

Twentysomething, Jamie Cullum

After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go traveling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
I could work for the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat
Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack
Who knows the answers, who do you trust
I can't even separate love from lust
Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans
Working nine to five, answering phones
But don't make me live for my Friday nights
Drinking eight pints and getting in fights
Don't wanna get up, just have a lie in
Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething
Maybe I'll just fall in love
That could solve it all
Philosophers say that that's enough
There surely must be more
Love ain't the answer, nor is work
The truth eludes me so much it hurts
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

I'm a twentysomething, let me lie in
Leave me alone, I'm a twentysomething

The lyrics speaks some things. Today's A level results day, I'm didn't get back disappointing results - I'm only a J2, but I went home kind of morose. Today's just a pretty gloomy day. Half way through chemistry I started to get depressed and all cause I just noticed how prepared everyone else is, and how I'm not. I unusually spent like 7 dollars altogether on food, 5 dollars of which to try and cheer myself up. Happy food, I call them. I don't usually spend that much, since my finances are currently in a depression (in both sense of the word)- as defined economically. I've been having deficit pocket money since early last year, and it's not improving. I just have days like these when I overspend on purpose.

My brother got a BBBB C, which is extremely bad. He's probably basing as the bottom 5% in Hwachong. Don't know why but it's affecting me quite a lot. I'm a bit worried about what he's going to do about it, maybe even more than himself. But I think majority of the gloominess came from the fact that seeing his results discourages me. I know the normal person would be encouraged to study so you don't follow in his footsteps, but somehow the reverse just happens. Adding on to the fact that I'm lagging behind. I know, I'm not complaining about lagging behind. I'm a bit "oh, fuck it" already. I guess if someone else only started on math yesterday, and haven't proceeded to econs and physics, and only completed a chapter of notes for chemistry when it's 3 days to CTs, he'll be feeling screwed. I'm not complaining. I'm just disappointed at how undisciplined and how little motivation I have. If I'm going to get 4Bs next year this time, I'll be laughing at myself and reprimanding myself for being such a idiot in JC. An episode of Skins, dinner with my brother and mum, and I'll come home to study. I guess the reason why I like Skins so much is because everyone inside screws up at different times, and looking at their lives and how much they screwed up just makes me think that I'm doing so much better. Coward.

Creative huh. I mean it's such a cliche but it's still real good if you could reinvent a cliche and make it work well. One of the more creative bands around, more in music video artistic directions than their music though. Should go see their WTF music video too. I saw that technique used by RIP SLYME, Japanese pop/rock band a few years ago, but yeah again this time they did it with much more creativity.

Studying was efficient on Sunday. First day I officially started on the CTs, one of the only days I could do so much. Notes for 2 chemistry chapters. Doesn't sound much, but I guess at least I spent a lot of time doing work - and it feels good. Don't know what's my obsession for doing my own notes. I've always done them, since secondary school. Extremely time consuming, but all in all I think it's pretty useful. I tend to summarise a bit too much and accidentally leave out details for chemistry though. Maybe notes give me a sense of security (real of false I don't care) but I'd rather spend time making notes and not doing practices, even if it means I'll have to be stuck with bad grades. CTs will be a mad rush, a full day of Sunday = 2 chapters of notes. Definitely not enough. Practices aside, before the CTs next week I doubt I'll even have time to complete my notes!

Joined volleyball for PT today, I fell and bounced off the ground at the outdoor courts on my knees. 3 patches on my left knee, 1 on my right. The wounds kill me when they get wet, and that's great. I hope it's just some superficial wounds. Don't want this to affect my training progress. Exactly one month to seasons.

emails: chew.bolong.2009@vjc.sg (main) / bolong02@hotmail.com (dominated by junk mail)
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bolong
mobile phone: yeah you wish.