you're such a BOLONGY!
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I could get used to this...
Sunday, December 18, 2011
in retrospect, at 1:10 AM
Been having a binge on food for the past week. I mean, from the day we came back to Lakiun camp in Brunei, after stepping through Cynthia Gate to officially complete JCC, my stomach's never been empty. I recall all the crazy buffets we've had since then. If you didn't know, every single meal we had in Brunei after JCC was a buffet. The point was for us to regain our carbos and build up mass we lost. In the end, I think I've gained back to more than 63kg by now. I was 63, then 55.5 after JCC, probably 65 right now. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if I accumulated a 65, though it seems pretty impossible to gain that much in such a short while. Trust me though, I look perfectly fat now. My stomach's been bloated ever since I came back.
Was at Sandra's house today, when I did realise my problem. I cannot stop eating. This is crazy. All the food we've been talking about during those nights on empty stomachs - I've had them all. On the day we returned, I ate two bowls of noodles my mum cooked, close to ten packets of cream crackers + nutella before that for afternoon snack, and then I recall going to Chomp Chomp and spending a further $20 on supper after that (oh glorious stingrays, popiahs, chicken wings, satays and milkcurds). Like as if it wasn't enough, after playing LAN till 5am, I downed four more plain pratas. Today, I bought Mcdonalds for the lot, then I think I ate up close to all three packets of french fries, on top of my McSpicy. And then Liqin came with a few sticks of Old Chang Kee and Gong Chas. I ate them all.
OMG I ATE THEM ALL. I even asked for chips. If there were any opened packets of chips in Sandra's cupboard, they would've been in my stomach by now. I'm resisting the urge to sneak downstairs and pick up my Pringles I bought for book-in. I HAVE TO RESIST.
I now know what it's like to fight the inner demon. It's not an easy battle. I'm quite afraid. What has JCC turned me into? Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up for a morning run. Yes, not a morning jog, but a morning
run. Prata after that, but I guess it's okay if I ran - right? And I'm quite determined. It's book-in day tomorrow, for what might be another twenty days away from home. I have to make full use of tomorrow. Sleep just seems secondary these couple of days, even though I'm constantly feeling the fatigue. It's a good thing though, I think when sleep's not your focus, you're having a fulfilling life. Somewhat. Maybe not. But well.
Anyway, today I was supposed to visit a TCM practitioner because I revealed to my mum during lunch at Jack's Place (OH THE STEAK) that my left hand's been numb ever since training in Brunei. That's more than two weeks already. The problem's that my hand's permanently numb. Like 24/7, sometimes less when I'm not thinking about it. There's that swollen feeling on the tip of my fingers. Like if you played the guitar strings for too long a period. Like if you have those finger blisters with pus inside, waiting to be pricked and burst. My mum brought me to this one close to my grandma's. I was willing to accept some form of treatment initially, but when I saw the TCM clinic, things changed. It was really a clinic. Air-conditioned, consultation rooms and all, queue numbers. The fact that it was too commercialised turned me entirely off. I was expecting some TCM old man at the back of a counter selling herbal medicine. It made me lose trust in whatever I was going to see / receive. The doctor said it wasn't a big deal, but recommended me for immediate treatment, either acupuncture or a massage therapy. $30 for thirty minutes. I thought "fuck, scam alert" in my head. I said no, and the annoying thing was everyone at once turned against me. I politely gave the excuse that I didn't have time. My mum assumed I meant that I was probably overzealous to meet friends, so didn't want to accept the treatment. She had to tell the story to the doctor and nurses. Then they all went "you can't possibly wait till it gets more serious before you look for treatment" in an all too Chinese and knowledgeable manner. It made me feel extremely guilty towards my body, but I think I'm too much of a miser to see money spent on medical purposes. Especially if it's not urgent at all. I don't know why I'm even whining about this. But it made me feel insecure. The response I got from Yuting and Liqin made me worry as well. Should I have really went ahead with the treatment? I hate this uncertainty.
I could get used to this...
Sunday, December 18, 2011
in retrospect, at 1:10 AM
Been having a binge on food for the past week. I mean, from the day we came back to Lakiun camp in Brunei, after stepping through Cynthia Gate to officially complete JCC, my stomach's never been empty. I recall all the crazy buffets we've had since then. If you didn't know, every single meal we had in Brunei after JCC was a buffet. The point was for us to regain our carbos and build up mass we lost. In the end, I think I've gained back to more than 63kg by now. I was 63, then 55.5 after JCC, probably 65 right now. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if I accumulated a 65, though it seems pretty impossible to gain that much in such a short while. Trust me though, I look perfectly fat now. My stomach's been bloated ever since I came back.
Was at Sandra's house today, when I did realise my problem. I cannot stop eating. This is crazy. All the food we've been talking about during those nights on empty stomachs - I've had them all. On the day we returned, I ate two bowls of noodles my mum cooked, close to ten packets of cream crackers + nutella before that for afternoon snack, and then I recall going to Chomp Chomp and spending a further $20 on supper after that (oh glorious stingrays, popiahs, chicken wings, satays and milkcurds). Like as if it wasn't enough, after playing LAN till 5am, I downed four more plain pratas. Today, I bought Mcdonalds for the lot, then I think I ate up close to all three packets of french fries, on top of my McSpicy. And then Liqin came with a few sticks of Old Chang Kee and Gong Chas. I ate them all.
OMG I ATE THEM ALL. I even asked for chips. If there were any opened packets of chips in Sandra's cupboard, they would've been in my stomach by now. I'm resisting the urge to sneak downstairs and pick up my Pringles I bought for book-in. I HAVE TO RESIST.
I now know what it's like to fight the inner demon. It's not an easy battle. I'm quite afraid. What has JCC turned me into? Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up for a morning run. Yes, not a morning jog, but a morning
run. Prata after that, but I guess it's okay if I ran - right? And I'm quite determined. It's book-in day tomorrow, for what might be another twenty days away from home. I have to make full use of tomorrow. Sleep just seems secondary these couple of days, even though I'm constantly feeling the fatigue. It's a good thing though, I think when sleep's not your focus, you're having a fulfilling life. Somewhat. Maybe not. But well.
Anyway, today I was supposed to visit a TCM practitioner because I revealed to my mum during lunch at Jack's Place (OH THE STEAK) that my left hand's been numb ever since training in Brunei. That's more than two weeks already. The problem's that my hand's permanently numb. Like 24/7, sometimes less when I'm not thinking about it. There's that swollen feeling on the tip of my fingers. Like if you played the guitar strings for too long a period. Like if you have those finger blisters with pus inside, waiting to be pricked and burst. My mum brought me to this one close to my grandma's. I was willing to accept some form of treatment initially, but when I saw the TCM clinic, things changed. It was really a clinic. Air-conditioned, consultation rooms and all, queue numbers. The fact that it was too commercialised turned me entirely off. I was expecting some TCM old man at the back of a counter selling herbal medicine. It made me lose trust in whatever I was going to see / receive. The doctor said it wasn't a big deal, but recommended me for immediate treatment, either acupuncture or a massage therapy. $30 for thirty minutes. I thought "fuck, scam alert" in my head. I said no, and the annoying thing was everyone at once turned against me. I politely gave the excuse that I didn't have time. My mum assumed I meant that I was probably overzealous to meet friends, so didn't want to accept the treatment. She had to tell the story to the doctor and nurses. Then they all went "you can't possibly wait till it gets more serious before you look for treatment" in an all too Chinese and knowledgeable manner. It made me feel extremely guilty towards my body, but I think I'm too much of a miser to see money spent on medical purposes. Especially if it's not urgent at all. I don't know why I'm even whining about this. But it made me feel insecure. The response I got from Yuting and Liqin made me worry as well. Should I have really went ahead with the treatment? I hate this uncertainty.
Before you read this,
This blog is not going to be about cheery encounters, sizzling gossips or interesting current affairs.
So if you're looking for any of the above three, do 'x' this page. That was a warning - before you waste your time here.
The author of this blog is pretty much a narcissist, and most of the posts here would be constantly lamenting about tiny things in his head which wouldn't concern you, nor the world.
Instead, the further he serves his two-years compulsory bond of being born a Singaporean son - National Service - the more tiresome and self-absorbed his posts will get.
The only intended audience for the blog is the author himself, and perhaps those who care enough.
Take this as a warning, so if you're looking for entertainment, this really isn't the right place. I've warned you...
P.S. I know this blog template's absolutely narcissistic.
More About Me
Chew Bolong, Singaporean. Would have to emphasize on that point at times cause you're not exactly the first one thinking that my name's PRC.
Oh, yes, my name's a Mandarin translation. Get on with life already.
I graduated from Dunman High School, then Victoria Junior College and I'm currently spending the next year and a half of my life (brainless), in National Service.
I have interests in designing and art [note: interest doesn't mean ability], (indie rock / folk) music, nature, long walks at night and making friends - sounds like a weird combination to say but those are things I associate myself to.
I'm an
ENTP but at times an introvert. I love deep conversations with people.
I'm always in a dilemma deciding whether or not to change this description about myself, so I've decided that additional details shall be listed under.
27 Random Facts you HAVE to know about me
1. I used to suffer from insomnia cause annoying tunes would be stuck in my head or I tend to think through every event that's happened in the day, so I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. But in NS that doesn't apply anymore, cause I'm always tired. Don't think that's a good thing.
2. I like long walks alone at night, because it gives me a good opportunity to reflect, let my mind wander into deep stuff and just immerse in nature and the surroundings. That's provided the place I'm at is quiet and green. Yeah that's parks, garden, and most of Serangoon. Unfortunately, since NS, my mind's been pretty empty most of the time.
3. I told myself that by 37 years old I must have a (big) house complete with a billard table, a home-theatre system, a cosy round table and 4 armchairs in a corner of my (huge) living room, a secret hideout with natural lighting to chill and read books, a tiny bartender corner, a walk-in wardrobe and a useable kitchen amongst all other things. But my definition of future success only encompasses one thing - happiness. Yeah, it's a cliche but there must be a reason why it's a cliche right?
4. I enjoy people-watching. Behavioral science. You can actually tell a lot from that.
5. A part of my body I hate the most? My calves for sure. If you're a consistent reader of my blog I'm sure you would have heard of it already. But yeah, I'm standing at merely 165+ but I'd rather have thinner calves than be taller.
6. I (secretly) detest the Secondary 1, 2 me cause I was way too childish and immature. Not that secretive anymore, but I could have better spent that 2 years doing something else rather than doing lame things and attracting attention. I don't exactly like to mention this cause it's unglamorous, so lucky you.
7. I'm extremely afraid of cats. Like as if you don't know that already.
8. I can't take plain white bread. Nor powder formulated (warm) milk. They really make me wanna puke, cause they've that gooey feeling and they get stuck between or under your teeth. Which is disgusting. That's probably one of the reasons why I'm so short. I didn't know fresh milk existed when I was young, so I didn't drink milk for around a decade.
9. I find people who have good fashion sense and natural leadership emanating from them incredibly sexy.
10. I like girls with slightly reddish long hair and colourful sun dresses.
11. I have an inevitably heavy breathing, and it always gets worse when I start to notice it. Instead, I just reminded myself of it and am having a hard time trying to regulate my breathing right now. Plus I only breathe through my mouth. Although I've a big nose, my nostrils are probably small cause I have a blocked nose 24/7. BUT somehow when I fall asleep my body will force myself to breathe through my nose. Which is the reason why I snore in lectures. It's not even a snore actually - just heavy breathing sounds. I know I sound defensive right now. But no. True story.
12. I think the first gush of air from the air-conditioning system of a car is extremely addictive and pleasant. I'm pretty surprised some of my friends thought so too.
13. Crocs look ugly, but they smell really awesome to me. That fresh smell of sweet rubber. Everytime I walk past a Crocs outlet my heart melts a bit. No one seems to agree with me on this though.
14. The standard pen I use is a Pilot G2 0.5 ballpoint, and I write with such force on paper that Mr Ken Leong once commented on my essay: "braille?". The problem's so severe I need to use a cardboard piece (or a stack of paper of at least 5 pieces) as padding whenever I'm writing on paper. I switched to Uniball 0.38s in JC2. I am now using the Uniball to sketch as well.
15. I'm fully equipped in the skills of martial arts: junior black belt in Taekwondo as well as 6 years of Wushu. But I haven't even so much as laid a punch or slap on anyone. Okay I think I've slapped my brother a couple of times but that doesn't count cause I don't use my full force on him. One day I'd really like to try and punch someone. See if he even feel it hurts.
16. I'm guilty of judging people by a first impression (or just a quick scan). Don't everyone do?
17. Though I do say that, I find that my first 'evaluation' of someone is always pretty accurate. If I don't like someone, after time others will find it the same too.
18. I really like to whine and complain. I've been trying to tone it down recently because I realised that I feel better after I let it all out, but yet it only spreads the gloominess to my friends. I'd hate it if my friends were always whiney too, so I'll tone it down. I'll try.
19. I don't know why but I'm much more expressive online. I spill out secrets more often. I blog about things I don't even tell my close friends. So yeah, do read more when you still have the chance to. :D I suppose I'll stop blogging once I'm off the "student" label. Once I enter the workforce, when things are really so much more political and shit.
20. I've a weird habit of munching off the circumference of my burgers before I savour the centre of it. Don't laugh.
21. I have slight lisps. I wouldn't exactly call it that really, cause I refuse to admit it as a flaw, but pronouncing things with "esses" usually results in my tongue sticking out between my teeth and what comes out really sounds more like a "th". Yes, you can mock me about it for all your eternity of a boring, insipid life because I've came to terms with it. Booyah.
22. I believe that if someone isn't vain, he/she probably doesn't look good either. So yeah, come join me in being vain.
23. I'm quite a perfectionist about my companion, love and relationships, so I don't date easily.
24. I'm a huge nature lover. I want to walk Singapore's city at night with my friends. I want to camp under the stars with my friends. I want to live in the mountains without civilization. With a close friend or alone. My future half would probably have to love nature as well. Not like hiking-nature or climbing-nature, but really just the nature all around you. Even in the city.
25. My friend once said that I like to "fix broken dolls" as a boyfriend. In some ways it sounds apt, cause I think that girls with... a bit of emotional damage are deep and... more exciting to be with. I sound like I've dated before, but no, I've always been single. Evergreen, if you play that 'traffic light' game in University. Don't be weirded-out by me please.
25(ii). So yeah, if you're someone (or you know someone) who likes nature, likes long walks at night, likes folk / indie music, slightly emo / reflective at times but friendly otherwise, call me.
26. I listen to folk, alternative rock and indie music. I hate it when the artists I like gets famous and extremely mainstream. And that's not just a childish thought. It's because I think there's this special bond shared between you and the artist (and his / her music), and when it gets mainstream, the bond you had gets shared with all the other millions of people in the world, and it's no longer special. Kinda like what you'd say with relationships.
27. Finally, I fancy a good laugh everyday. My friends have given me that, and that's why I love them so much.
Not your usual Bucket-list
Yes, in order of 'want'.
1. 1 month backpacking trip to Europe / cold climate areas with a close pal (or two). The less civilization the better.
2. Is wanting something illegal illegal in itself? Yes, drugs - at least once. LSD, to be exact.
3. Making (good) friends with someone insane. I mean, mental. But I don't want to make it sound derogatory. There's something strikingly beautiful about insanity, like experiencing another dimension of some sorts.
4. The Killers' concert.
5. A folk / acoustic concert - say Iron & Wine, Bombay Bicycle Club, Inch Chua or Zee Avi.
6. Camping under the stars in the city (Padang?) and listening to acoustic sounds.
7. Experience the Glastonbury / Lollapalooza / Woodstock / Coachella festivals.
8. Bungee-jumping.
9. Scuba-diving.
10. Going for a real Broadway production.
I know - I'm weird, right?
emails: chew.bolong.2009@vjc.sg (main) / bolong02@hotmail.com (dominated by junk mail)
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bolong
mobile phone: yeah you wish.
Friends and Connections –fellow bloggers.
Archives –the past entries.
